Deschutes Brewery - Originally Published 2009

Before you invest an hour in this tour, there is an important question you need to ask yourself.  Do I really like beer enough to find out how it’s made?  Think before you answer, because the guides here are passionate about what they do.  This is not the Heineken tour where they show you a video and then turn you loose on free samples for an hour.

If the answer is an unequivocal “yes”, then you are in the right place.  No detail will be spared in explaining how this factory produces beer.  First stop on the tour is the bar where they pour four, four ounce samples.

In a wise marketing maneuver, the higher ups at Deschutes placed the bar right in the middle of the gift shop.  Don’t drink and shop.  You really don’t need a Black Butte beanie.

Deschutes brews all of its own beer in house.  This is a remarkable feat for a microbrew.  As most of them expand, they have to contract brew.  In other words, that’s not really a Sam Adams you’re drinking.  It’s a Budweiser. 

I think this was the point that Mai officially gave up on pretending to be interested.  Just so you know, those brew kettles were custom made in Germany and are rolled out of one sheet of steel so there’s no welding seams.

Some La Verne and Shirley action.       

Lithia Park - Originally Published 2008

Here’s the sum total of what I learned while I was in the Lit program at the American University:  There is usually a story behind a name.  Charles Dickens and Nathaniel Hawthorne both had a knack for creating names that characterized people.  Think about Ebenezer Scrooge and Roger Chillingworth.

When I went to write about Lithia Park, a big, red flag went up.  Who is Lithia?  Was she some Greek goddess that was the champion of equality and small towns in mountain passes? 

Actually, no.  Lithia Park gets its name from the fact that it has a high concentration of lithium oxide in the water.  This mineral is supposed to have positive psychological effects.  The jury’s out on that, but the park is amazing and deserves a visit.

The Black Sheep Pub - Originally Published 2008

The Black Sheep is a great, low stress pub where you can forget about the fact that you just drove for twelve hours straight.  The menu has all the standard pub fare plus some vegetarian selections. 

They have a great selection of beers and a knowledgeable staff.  I hate when I ask for a drink recommendation and the server tells me she doesn’t know because she doesn’t drink.  Big thanks to the crew from The Black Sheep for recommending the Framboise Lambic.  Now Mai has a beer she can drink.

Trader Sam's - Originally Published 2011

I hate to be the person to do it, but I’m going to tell you the truth about one of your childhood memories.  Let me paint the picture.  Remember when your parents would take you and your siblings to Disneyland in the summer?  And do you remember when they let you go explore the park on your own?  Your dad would tell you something like, “Keep an eye on your sister.  We’ll meet you at Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride at 4:30. Your mother and I are going to take a ride on the Monorail.”

“Taking a ride on the Monorail” was actually a euphemism for “We’re going to go and get a drink”.  Thankfully, the visionaries at the Magic Kingdom have opened Trader Sam’s, a tiki bar that will allow a whole new generation of adults to take the ride.

You can sit outside of the bar and enjoy the afternoon, but remember this is a Disney-fueled tiki bar, but I recommend that you take a seat inside.  Aside from rum-heavy fruity drinks, the Imagineers have also dropped in some surprises.  Certain drinks trigger rain to fall, a volcano to erupt, or a ship-in-a-bottle to sink. 

In typical Disney fashion, they have pulled out all of the stops when building this place.  Just take a look at the men’s room.  Tiki wallpaper, tiki door handles, and tiki sconces.  They could have scrimped, but that just isn’t the Disney way.

So aside from the décor, how are the drinks?  Really fine.  Don’t let the fact that you’re in the Disneyland Hotel deceive you.  They pack a punch.  While we were there, we watched on guy seated at the bar proudly announce to his wife, “So I’m drunk!”

Shrunken Zombie Head – Lots of rum.  Not for the inexperienced.

Piranha Pool – Kind of like a Blue Hawaii.  It has a sweet that doesn’t let up.

Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Room – The Trader Sam’s pina colada.  This was my favorite of the bunch.  Rumor has it, if you don’t rattle off all of the tiki’s when you order, then no drink for you. 

How about the food?  It’s good bar food.  We tried the Pu Pu Platter, the lettuce cups, and the Ahi Poke.  All of it worked.

Bruxie - Originally Published 2011

Spend some time in Southern California and you’ll end up meeting the “I Don’t Go To OC” guy.  Who is he?  He’s the guy that would rather go to a leper colony that to take a trip south on the 5.  He’ll make a fuss and act like anything outside of the 310 is the cultural equivalent of taking a trip to Mayberry. 

Here’s my take on that guy.  Stop trying to convince him to come down this way.  You know why?  Because the line at Bruxie is already long enough.  Let him be small minded and provincial.  You and I will be able to dine on waffle sandwiches and will laugh with delight knowing that our snobby friends are missing out. 

Yes, waffle sandwiches.  Waffle sandwiches of all kinds.  Sweet and savory.  Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  And not only that, but also milkshakes.  We can eat them with glee as the “I Don’t Go To OC” guys fret over the closure of the 405.