Don Perry's Underground Tour of Port Angeles - Originally Published 2009

So I thought that I had a notion of what the word passion meant until I went on Don Perry’s Underground Tour of Port Angeles.  Port Angeles is a small town on the upper left hand corner of the map that actually has quite a sordid past.

The first part of the tour is pretty tame.  He does an introduction to the city and explains how the city elders used strip-mining equipment to build up the town.  These murals are part of an underground miniature golf course in the basement of a bike shop.  Somehow, Don convinced the owner of the store to allow him to cut a hole in her floor in order to gain access to the space.  Did I mention that the man is passionate?  It turns out he’s persuasive as well. 

After that, it’s off to one of the original buildings in Port Angeles’ downtown.  Currently, it houses Family Shoe Store.  This shop has belonged to the same family for eighty years.  Pretty remarkable when stores like Wal-Mart have laid Main Streets to waste countywide. 

Aside from being a really nice and complete shoe store, it houses some wonderful elements of Americana.  Above the Kiddie’s Korner is a mural of cartoon characters from a now defunct children’s shoe manufacturer.  The mural in the back is mechanical and still is able to move.

After he shows off all of Port Angeles’ nostalgic bits, Don takes the tour group to the top of the shoe store.  Why?  Because that’s where the eighteen room bordello is.  That’s right, once upon a time, Port Angeles had a fully functioning house of ill repute. 

It seems that Port Angeles was filled with loggers and Navy men.  Those fellows needed a somewhere to relax. The place on top of the shoe store was where a guy was charged two bucks to blow off steam as well as some other things.

Did I mention that Don is driven?  One of the things that he has been able to do is preserve a two-block section of the old underground.  Somehow, he managed to raise somewhere in the neighborhood of two million dollars to do it.  I was very impressed, Don.  You have done a stellar job of preserving an America that most of us have no idea ever existed.

He’s a fantastic storyteller.  If you ever happen to find yourself in Port Angeles, I highly recommend talking this tour.

Seattle Duck Tour - Originally Published 2009

When I was down and out in Seattle, I used to walk the city from one end to the other for lack of anything else to do.  One of the ubiquitous sights around town were crowds of tourist packed into a 1940’s amphibious landing craft.  They all seemed too happy and self-assured as they rode around and quacked their quackers at folks that were down on their luck like you know who.

I vowed that one day, I would return to Seattle like a conquering hero.  As part of my conquest, I too would know the joy of riding around on the Duck Tour.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce to you that I have lived the dream.

I once had a client who came out to LA for a meeting.  She wanted some recommendations of something she could do that wasn’t touristy.  I told her she could always do some rent a video and do some laundry.  She would not approve of this trip.  It’s about as touristy as anything can get.  Think of it like going to a ballgame.  You’re going to eat a hot dog while you’re there. Enjoy it.

Dollar for dollar, this tour is the best way to check out the city if you are short on time and want to cover as much ground as possible.  Our captain, the more than capable Phillip Dover managed to swing the seven and a half ton craft all over town in afternoon traffic.

You’ll see all the major sights downtown has to offer including Safeco Field and the Seattle Art Museum. 

The coolest part of the trip is that the vessel actually drives into Lake Washington. 

It was a perfect day and we got some great views of Seattle and the Gasworks Park.

Seattle Underground Tour -Originally Published 2009

Seattle is one of the centers of the high tech world.  As a result, it has been flooded by former honors students who specialize in being nice.  But here’s the great thing about Seattle.  It actually has a really gritty history.  While it has been inherited by the geeks, it was actually formed by loggers and robber barons who built the city on a tidal flat.

Nestled down in Pioneer Square, the Seattle Underground tour is a great way to get a peek into Seattle’s unvarnished past. 

Building on a tidal flat was not a wise idea.  First of all, the city had a tendency to flood.  Second of all, when people elected to install indoor plumbing, the raw sewage stalled at the bottom of the hills.  As soon as the tide rolled in, all of that raw sewage was returned to the people who delivered.

After a fire leveled the city, the good citizens elected to rebuild, but aside from that, they decided to raise the city.  As a result, Seattle was left with a subterranean underground.  The tour is the only way to see it first hand.

Now if you’re a fan of the old Kolchak show, you won’t see a complete city like Darren McGavin did.  What you actually see is a lot better.  There are several underground tunnels complete with skylights, some of them still used as storage for above ground business.

Wanderlust Tours - Originally Published 2009

Do not hesitate for a second to take part in a Wanderlust Tours excursion.  We were lucky enough to do the Starlight Canoeing, but if you look at their website, they also have caving, GPS trips, and snowshoeing to name a few.

Your guide meets you in a predesignated location.  For us, it was the parking lot of a Fred Meyer.  From there, you are whisked away to a lake in the surrounding mountains.

All you need to do is dress appropriately.  The guide supplies everything else you will need.

The lake with the last of the friscalating dusk light.

After a quick set up, it’s off to the lake for some paddling, dessert, and stories about the constellations.

Deschutes Brewery - Originally Published 2009

Before you invest an hour in this tour, there is an important question you need to ask yourself.  Do I really like beer enough to find out how it’s made?  Think before you answer, because the guides here are passionate about what they do.  This is not the Heineken tour where they show you a video and then turn you loose on free samples for an hour.

If the answer is an unequivocal “yes”, then you are in the right place.  No detail will be spared in explaining how this factory produces beer.  First stop on the tour is the bar where they pour four, four ounce samples.

In a wise marketing maneuver, the higher ups at Deschutes placed the bar right in the middle of the gift shop.  Don’t drink and shop.  You really don’t need a Black Butte beanie.

Deschutes brews all of its own beer in house.  This is a remarkable feat for a microbrew.  As most of them expand, they have to contract brew.  In other words, that’s not really a Sam Adams you’re drinking.  It’s a Budweiser. 

I think this was the point that Mai officially gave up on pretending to be interested.  Just so you know, those brew kettles were custom made in Germany and are rolled out of one sheet of steel so there’s no welding seams.

Some La Verne and Shirley action.