Ducks Game at the Honda Center - Originally Published 2009

Just what is the Honda Center you ask?  It’s the arena that was once known as the Arrowhead Pond.  Under either name, it has been the home of the Ducks since 1993.

I think that the Honda Center and the Ducks indicate just what an anomaly Southern California really is.  You see, there is no snow here, and yet we have two NHL franchises that are maybe twenty miles apart.  Two NHL franchises!  Cleveland has plenty of snow and they managed to put the Barons out of business.  Canada.  One can’t think of Canada without thinking of snow.  And yet, Canada failed to send any teams to the finals this year.  Yes sir, both of the teams in the finals were from the good old U.S. of A.  You want to know what’s weirder?  The Ducks have actually managed to win a cup.  Weird?  That’s Southern California for you.

The Ducks have quite a following.  And they like to accessorize for the game.  I think that Mai and I were the only two adults in the arena without Ducks jerseys.  If you choose to go, make sure you dress warm.  It is an ice hockey game, by the way.  They play it on ice.

As a money saving proposition, I got the cheapest seats in the house. And you know what?  Even though we were a few rows from the wall, we could still see all the action.  Great job, Anaheim!

Hollywood Wax Museum - Originally Published 2009

Included in the cost to the Guinness Museum is a trip to the Hollywood Wax Museum.

The figures here are a little questionable.  The one on the right is definitely Angelina Jolie.  However, who are the other two?  My wife said Mathew McConaughey and Jude Law.  Anyone have any other opinions?

Some just plain look beat up.  Take a look at Tom Cruise.  It looks like someone threw him down the stairs.

Poor Gwyneth has some bruising on her arms.  I bet the paparazzi will have a field day with that.

Midway through it, they throw the spiritually devoid tourists some old time religion.  There is a depiction of the Last Supper complete with crucifixion.

At least Kevin Sorbo makes up for all of the shortcomings.

Guinness World's Records Museum - Originally Published 2009

I don’t believe in the concept of hell.  There is a fundamental flaw about hell that the church overlooked when they made it up.  People get used to things, even terrible, horrible things.  I’m sure that it takes a few thousand years to get accustomed to burning in a lake of fire, but once you do it ends up being more an inconvenience than a punishment.

Take the Guinness World’s Records Museum in Hollywood.  This place is an abomination.  Yet, I would be willing to bet that most people have allowed it to blend into the urban landscape.  It sits on Hollywood Boulevard near Mann’s Chinese Theater.

For $17, you get a ticket to this place and one to the Hollywood Wax Museum across the street.

As expected, there is the usual assortment of freaky people, some of the longhaired variety.

Remember Lite-Brite?  This is the world’s biggest Lite-Brite picture coming in at 4’ by 6’.

One time my friend Scott told me that his grandma died because she was picking her navel and accidentally opened herself up.  He told me the tale as a warning.  I remember his closing words of advice: “Don’t do it because if it opens up, it’s impossible for the doctors to sew it closed.”

But I digress.  This picture sucks, but the words say, “Rotate the drum towards you to see if you know the right answer.”  The problem?  There is no drum.  This mistake was repeated throughout the museum.

See that black box?  There was supposed to be a television there showing an amazing clip of some kind.  However, no television and no amazing clip.  Way to go Guinness!

The plunger on the floor in this picture is supposed to make something blow up.  I don’t know what was supposed to blow up because it wasn’t working.  What’s the matter, Guinness?  Tough times mean that you have to lay off the maintenance man?  You customers want to know!

This has to be the wordiest museum I have ever been to.  If you like to read your museums, this is the place for you.  If not, I recommend that you just get the book at the library and save yourself some cash.

Phillippe's

Philippe’s is a little place in downtown LA that supposedly invented the French dip sandwich.  And French dip sandwiches are exactly what they serve here.  According to the website, they have been in business since 1908.  That’s especially remarkable when you consider that in 1908, there was nothing in LA.

Philippe’s is all about “no frills”.  You want a sandwich?  There’s a sandwich, some meat, some bread, and some of the sauce from the roasts.  That’s it.

Even if you’re into hot stuff, I recommend that you watch out for the mustard.  Go easy.  Go really, really easy.  Don’t squirt it directly onto your sandwich.  Just wave your sandwich over the bottle.  I even would go as far as to suggest that you don’t look at the bottle too long because you may develop cataracts.  Trust me.

 Philippe’s is the local spot that has been here longer that any of the locals.  Bench seating and sawdust on the floor make this an especially unique place.   Definitely worth a stop.

Downtown Disney - Originally Published 2009

I made an important decision about my future.  If I ever have a son, I’m going to make a big deal about his first trip to Disneyland.  For about six weeks straight, I’m going to get him really excited about the place.  By the time we park, he’s going to float across the parking lot.

But in reality, I’m actually going to just take him to Downtown Disney.  What’s the point?  While it may be a magic kingdom, the last time I checked they’re charging a pretty penny for a piece of that magic.  By having a crappy time a Downtown Disney, my little kidney donor will never ask to go again.  Sure, he may be sullen and end up moving to France so that he can sulk in a café, dear old dad will never have to part with his money.

So what exactly is Downtown Disney?  There are a few restaurants and a few stores.  There is even a House of Blues.  Unlike its two upscale cousins, Disneyland and California Adventure, it doesn’t cost a dime to get in.  It’s a way to get a taste of the Disney lifestyle without parting with the cash.

Now it may sound like I’m negative on this experience.  Maybe I am.  But at the same time, Mickey has done something remarkable here.  He’s provided for a clean and safe place for folks to gather.  Very clever, Mickey.  Very clever, indeed.