Included in the cost to the Guinness Museum is a trip to the Hollywood Wax Museum.

The figures here are a little questionable. The one on the right is definitely Angelina Jolie. However, who are the other two? My wife said Mathew McConaughey and Jude Law. Anyone have any other opinions?

Some just plain look beat up. Take a look at Tom Cruise. It looks like someone threw him down the stairs.

Poor Gwyneth has some bruising on her arms. I bet the paparazzi will have a field day with that.

Midway through it, they throw the spiritually devoid tourists some old time religion. There is a depiction of the Last Supper complete with crucifixion.

At least Kevin Sorbo makes up for all of the shortcomings.

I don’t believe in the concept of hell. There is a fundamental flaw about hell that the church overlooked when they made it up. People get used to things, even terrible, horrible things. I’m sure that it takes a few thousand years to get accustomed to burning in a lake of fire, but once you do it ends up being more an inconvenience than a punishment.

Take the Guinness World’s Records Museum in Hollywood. This place is an abomination. Yet, I would be willing to bet that most people have allowed it to blend into the urban landscape. It sits on Hollywood Boulevard near Mann’s Chinese Theater.

For $17, you get a ticket to this place and one to the Hollywood Wax Museum across the street.

As expected, there is the usual assortment of freaky people, some of the longhaired variety.

Remember Lite-Brite? This is the world’s biggest Lite-Brite picture coming in at 4’ by 6’.

One time my friend Scott told me that his grandma died because she was picking her navel and accidentally opened herself up. He told me the tale as a warning. I remember his closing words of advice: “Don’t do it because if it opens up, it’s impossible for the doctors to sew it closed.”

But I digress. This picture sucks, but the words say, “Rotate the drum towards you to see if you know the right answer.” The problem? There is no drum. This mistake was repeated throughout the museum.

See that black box? There was supposed to be a television there showing an amazing clip of some kind. However, no television and no amazing clip. Way to go Guinness!

The plunger on the floor in this picture is supposed to make something blow up. I don’t know what was supposed to blow up because it wasn’t working. What’s the matter, Guinness? Tough times mean that you have to lay off the maintenance man? You customers want to know!

This has to be the wordiest museum I have ever been to. If you like to read your museums, this is the place for you. If not, I recommend that you just get the book at the library and save yourself some cash.