Aquarium Village - Originally Published 2008

Whoever got the idea to open up Aquarium Village is a complete genius.  The entrance is maybe one hundred yards from The Oregon Coast Aquarium so it stands to catch uncounted numbers of overflow visitors, folks with pockets full of cash and looking to spend a few doubloons on t-shirts and coffee mugs.  In other words, it’s a complete tourist trap.

So what’s there?  A whole lot of shops that smell like mildew.  They seem to specialize in knives, antiques, candles, and pirate themed gear.  If you need any of the aforementioned items, this is the place for you.

Powell's Books - Originally Published 2008

Life is full of moments where a person is dealt a card that serves to change his perspective.  I remember once in junior high school hearing one of my friends tell me, “Man, I hate reading”. 

Hate reading?  He might as well have said that he hated breathing.  Unfortunately, I have found out that the non-readers outnumber the readers.  Does this spell our doom as a society?  Play it out over a couple more generations and then we’ll talk.

In the future, archeologists may sift through the remnants of a place like Powell’s and try to figure out just what we were up to with objects filled with paper and funny shapes printed on the pages.  But in the meantime, Powell’s is king.  And by king, I mean that they occupy an entire city block and have the distinction of the world’s largest used bookstore.

If you consider yourself a reading enthusiast, I recommend that you stop.  The day I went, they didn’t have any Edward Bunker or Charles Bukowski in stock.  Such is life.

Sergio's Leather and Belts - Originally Published 2011

You know what’s nice?  Not being destitute.  You know what’s nicer than that?  To have the resources necessary to put an artisan to work.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hate to be a braggadocio, but three years of hard work and globetrotting have put me in such a position.  One fine Sunday found Animated Meat at the Orange County Market Place.  I happened upon Sergio’s Leather and Belts.  Sergio is a master leather craftsman.  After explaining the virtues of hard versus soft leather to me, I decided to put him to work.  What better place to embody the Animated Meat philosophy than in a belt and a wristband? 

America, what you are all witness to the first-ever commissioned work by Animated Meat.  It’s the best I can do to use my capital to support American industry.

Beach Ball Comics Free Comic Book Day - Originally Published

I hate to be dystopian in my view of the future. However, let me tell you something, America.  As I travel around, I see these little hints of things to come.  Maybe they’re omens and maybe they’re not. 

God bless comic books.  And God bless guys like Stan Lee, William Gaines, Don Martin, Al Jaffee, Sergio Aragones, Jack Davis, Mort Drucker, and Antonio Prohias.  And while I’m commanding God to bless some people, let’s throw in all the people out there who produce and sell comics.

Why am I being so liberal with the blessings today?  If it weren’t for comics, I would be illiterate.  It’s true.  I chose to read Daredevil as opposed to Great Expectations.  I know I was supposed to read Madame Bovary.  But I couldn’t.  It was a stupid book about a spoiled French woman.  And I was already occupied.  I was pouring over a fold-in in the back of a Mad Magazine. 

While my birth as a reader was hardly on the mean streets, it was nontraditional to say the least.  And now I find myself in a disturbing place in America’s history.  Are you aware that in the 1950’s there was a movement to do away with comic books?  Why was that?  There was a supposed link between reading comic books and juvenile delinquents.  If Johnny read a copy of “The Vault of Horror” it would only be a matter of time before he became a switchblade-wheeling hot rodder.  The funny thing about all of this is that the juvenile delinquents in the 1950’s actually read.  Our delinquents are lucky if they can spell their neck tattoos correctly.

Yes, I’m back on the reading jag again.  People just don’t read anymore.  As further evidence, I present to you Free Comic Book Day.  For those that aren’t in the know, that’s the first Saturday in May.  Comic book publishers and stores give away thousands of free titles.  Why?  Altruism aside, it’s to get people back into the stores and reading again.

I decided to celebrate Free Comic Book Day at Beach Ball Comics in Anaheim.  As one can gauge from the photos, there was quite a turnout.  And why not?  This store seems to be well run and managed without the comic book store attitude that might have sent you packing in the past.

I assure you that comics are just as great as you may remember.  Not sure where to start?  Give “The Sandman” by Neil Gaiman a try.  If you’re looking for something on the bleak side, try some Alan Moore.  But more than anything, I recommend that you head to a place like Beach Ball.  Throw yourself on the mercy of the clerks.  Let them know that you haven’t read any titles since the seventh grade.  They would love to have you there and will gladly steer you in the right direction.  

Anaheim Marketplace - Originally Published 2011

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen.  Behold history in the making.  For the first time ever, a jumbo-sized photo here in the pages of Animated Meat! 

Why the extravagance now in these lean times?  It is for illustrative purposes.  Animated Meat, a highly regarded peer-edited scientific journal wishes to put before you a hypothesis and the evidence.  The hypothesis?  You can get anything you would ever want at the Anaheim Marketplace.

The evidence?  Read that sign, ladies and gentlemen.  Translated, it says “Free weddings on February 13th, both religious and civil”.  Think of that as irrefutable fact in the fossil record.  Something with the magnitude of the Piltdown Man’s remains.

Yes, you can get a wedding here, along with a whole lot of other things.  God only knows what this place was before it became the Anaheim Marketplace, but it’s huge.  So huge there is even a soccer field.  Really.  Drive around the back of the place and you’ll see it.

There’s plenty of food to be had here, everything from the grab and go variety to the sit and savor.  I opted for a chicken mole plate along with a Mexican Coca-Cola.  Incase you don’t know, the Mexican kind uses real sugar as opposed to corn syrup.  Purists will tell you it tastes better.

Are you into the really scary brand of Catholicism?  The kind with bleeding Jesus statues?  The Anaheim Marketplace has your back.  Shop today and light candles tonight.

The Marketplace states that it has over three hundred vendors.   I would agree with that claim. The spaces are set up in a grid format, like a well-planned city.  It’s a lot of acreage if you intend to see all of it.  If you didn’t wear your comfy shoes, that’s okay.  There’s probably a store in here that can sell you a pair.

Are you dying to dress like Los Tigres Del Norte?  The Marketplace has everything you need to get fully equipped.  This particular store also sells men’s fur coats.  I would have included a photo as evidence, but I caught a nasty glare.  If you really want to see it, send me an email at theadjuser@mac.com and I’ll pass it along.

Yes, that sign does say “cassettes”.  Animated Meat can’t confirm that claim, but they do have plenty of Banda CD’s.

These toys all looked like a lot of fun.  Lots of guns and soldiers.  I’m sure that everything here poses a choking risk or will potentially put your eye out.

Futball?  Si!

There are no less that three tattoo shops within the Marketplace.