Reptile Island - Originally Published 2010

I have a few reoccurring dreams.  In one of them, I’ve wandered into a pet store.  As I move through the store, I realize that the animals are able to get out of their cages.  For some reason, the cages are not only filled with unusual reptiles and fish, they are also overstocked so it’s advantageous for the little critters to find their way out.  Needless to say, being in a pet store of runaway creatures is a little distressing.

Thankfully, the same guy doesn’t manage Reptile Island in Stanton.  This is a clean, well-organized shop with all types of reptiles and amphibians.  While I’m not a Herpetologist, I would say that the animals looked pretty content on their hot rocks.  As far as variety, they seem to have it all here; turtles, snakes, lizards, and frogs.  For those seeking the unique, they also have some albinos. 

M & M World - Originally Published 2010

M&M World gets referred to in publications as a museum.  I’m not sure if this is a mistake on the consumer’s part or if the blame lies on M&M corporate.  We wandered into it because I had seen it billed as a “museum”.

However, a museum it is not.  It’s a colossal emporium where you can get anything M&M oriented you would like.  Just don’t go there looking for a history lesson on the brand.

We went midweek and the place was packed with visitors.  That’s an accomplishment because this store is no less than four stories stocked to the rafters with the smiling spokes-candies stamped, embroidered, embossed, and extruded on items that run the gamut of price points.  Speaking of prices, I wouldn’t recommend going there looking for a bargain.  Even the candy seemed pricy.

If you have a couple grand lying around, they have some trinkets for you.

They even have M&M dog items.  This is a bold maneuver because chocolate is toxic to dogs.

I think the thing that fuels purchases at M&M World is something known as the guilt factor.  Mom and dad have gone to Vegas for some adult fun and forgot for a while that they’re parents.  As a result, they go and buy an overpriced M&M plush item to smooth over things with their little princess who had to stay in the hotel room all night.

Bonanza Gift Shop - Originally Published 2010

Somewhere in China, there is an industrial town where all of the local residents are employed by the local factory.  Every morning at dawn, they rise and go through their routines.  They file down the streets and through the iron gates of the grey industrial complex.

I suppose there are signs on the wall that translate to phrases such as “Work is Our Pleasure” and “The People’s Party Makes Us Free”.  The complex is filled with miles of tables where the locals sit for sixteen hours a day and produce so that the Chinese government will grow stronger.  The workers’ reward for their labor is knowing that the people of China are free from the yoke of capitalism and greed.

So what is it that these nameless drones produce?  Las Vegas ashtrays and shot glasses for the Bonanza Gift Shop.  Enough is produced in this factory town to fill this robust store. 

The Bonanza Gift Shop is 40,000 square feet of any kind of Las Vegas trinket one could ever hope to lay hands on.   You name it and they have it.

Halloween Club - Originally Published 2010

Being a peer-edited scientific journal, Animated Meat seeks to shed light on the mysteries of the universe.  Today, we ask the question, “What happened to all the adults?”

Adults.  Remember them?  They were those folks with mustaches and lower back pain that drove AMCs.  They used to tell us when it was time for bed and to turn down that god damned racket.  I’m not sure when it happened, but it seems that they very quietly disappeared somewhere back in the 1990’s.

Take the Halloween Club, for example.  This is a year-round store in Santa Fe Springs devoted to all things spooky.  It’s well stocked and the staff was great.  They were attentive and helpful.

But a year-round Halloween store?  I don’t think that this would have flown back in 1976.  Why?  Because 1970’s moms were worried about being good moms.  They didn’t concern themselves with dressing like a slutty stewardess. 

Do you have $1000 sitting around?  If you do, they have a storm trooper outfit for you.  The adults that used to be around wouldn’t be interested in something like that.  That same thousand dollars could be used to put a new roof on the house.

But as I said, this place is incredibly well stocked.  There’s even a cannibal butcher shop.  Stock up, because the peeled off face is on special this week.

And while I’m busy calling our generation’s ability to be adults into question, I want to point out these costumes.  Yep.  Leatherface, Jason, and a pimp all in child sizes.

La Bomba - Originally Published 2009

As near as I can tell, there are two big differences between a thrift store and a vintage clothing store.  The first difference are the prices, but that goes without saying.  The second difference is that vintage stores actually spend a little more time organizing.

Deep in the Pomona Arts Colony is La Bomba.  This is a vintage clothing store.  I’m not much of a fashionista, but it appears that they have stuff from all decades.  It’s swimming in inventory and they use every available space to stock their wares.  If you are looking for that perfect piece of vintage foppery, this is a great place to start off.  Chances are if they don’t have it, no one will.

Aside from the clothes, this place just had a good vibe going for it.  It seemed like a really relaxed atmosphere where a fellow can procure a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and a pork pie hat.  Good attention to detail and design.