As some of you may remember, Animated Meat first came to life in 2008 as a way to document some sights that managed to slip through the cracks of most popular travel websites. You may also remember that the original website was built on Apple's now defunct iWeb. From there, it migrated over to WordPress where it met an untimely demise at the hands of Russian hackers. Many of those old, pre-2012 entries have found a new home here in the Before the Now section. I would consider these posts as my starting place as a writer, probably comparable to a musician's first demo tapes. They are very rough, but I took them all seriously and wrote each one with passion. While I would like to believe that I have matured in my abilities as a writer, it is my hope that I carry this same blind passion into all of my new efforts.
Who knew that Santa Ana had a zoo? I didn’t, did you?
You can find value, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
This monkey beckons us to join his crew, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
There was some bamboo, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
They even have a choo-choo, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
It’s called a Rhea but I mistook it for an emu, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
The monkeys were nice and didn’t throw poo, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
The lemurs made a hullabaloo, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
The camels have one hump not two, at the Santa Ana Zoo.
The Back Bay Loop is a great ride that starts in Irvine and cuts out to the coast. Even though is a beach ride, I recommend that you wear a helmet. As we found out, there were some really sketchy spots.
First, park your car in the University Center across from UCI where the In and Out is. Be careful though. I saw some horrendous drivers in the parking lot. I recommend that you work your way back towards the office buildings.
You’ll know you’re in the right place when you see Marco’s sweet ride.
After a few miles on city streets, the path starts to parallel the Back Bay.
After a quick cut on Pacific Coast Highway and an asskicker of a hill, you get an amazing payoff. Just look at this view.
Remember when I was telling you that is was important to always wear a helmet? Well, on this outing most of us weren’t and we ended up piling up at a busy intersection. The worst feeling I have ever had is the one when I thought I was witnessing the death of my wife and my sister-in-law.
“Take me out to the ballgame. Take me out to the crowd.”
Excuse me? Are you telling me to TAKE you out to the ballgame?
“Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack.”
Buy you some peanuts and Cracker Jack? Do you think I’m made of money? Do you realize that some scalper charged me sixty bucks each for these seats? How about you just sit back a and enjoy the game?
“I don’t care if I never get back.”
Yeah, because you’re drinking beer at $9 a cup, and I’ll have to cart your drunken ass home.
“So let’s root, root, root for the Angels. If they don’t win it’s a shame!”
You’re damn right it’s a shame. I didn’t come here to watch thee Angels lose to Kansas City.
Say the words “Orange County” to most people, and the last thing that comes to mind is a county fair. However, if we consult our history, the reason that there is an Orange in OC is because during the majority of the last century, it was an agricultural hot spot.
It’s true, though. If you don’t believe me, go take a look at the exhibit at Muzeo in Downtown Anaheim. Guys like Carl Karcher and Walt Disney helped grab this place and thrust into big city living in the 1950’s.
Now, before we go further into this review, I must warn you. I love the Orange County Fair. Although I was raised in LA County, I think that the one in Pomona mows this place’s lawn. It’s the perfect combination of animals, sleeved OC parents pushing strollers, and midway ballyhoo to get this mark to drop some cash.
To honor the Orange County Fair, this will be my first ever multi-page entry.
So, without further ado, this way to the egress.
First, a little etymology on the word “mark”. That’s an old carnie term. If you had a wad of cash, one of the carnies would put a mark of chalk on your back. As you walked down the midway, all of the pitchmen knew to work you a little harder.
I tell you this, dear reader, as a warning. You see, don’t plan on going to the fair looking for a discount. For the last several years, I have rolled in with $100.00. I have never left with more than about seven or eight bucks. If you don’t have the cash, don’t go to the fair. You will be disappointed.
Now, with that in mind, here is how I wisely invested my $100.00 this year. First stop, Hercules, the Giant Horse.
Yup. He’s big all right. And ornery. He doesn’t take kindly to a bunch of rubes standing and gawking.
Now, if you’re not related to old man Rockefeller, you can also pay a visit to an oversized plastic cow for free.
The key to enjoying the fair is to spread it out. To speak coarsely, don’t blow your load all at once. Once thing that I can recommend without hesitation are County Fair Cinnamon Rolls. These things are a little piece of perfection.
I would describe them as “adult sweet”. They aren’t the sickly sweet, type-two diabetes jazz that get kids off.
Quick word of caution: Don’t bank on getting one at the LA County Fair. County Fair Cinnamon Rolls don’t do Pomona. Diva attitude? Probably. But the way these things taste, I relinquish all the power to them to make the rules.
Chocolate covered bacon? I don’t eat the swine, so I don’t know. But according to my wife who does, this one would get classified under “sucker bet”.
There are plenty of the normal diversions on the midway, like freaky clowns, jumbo-sized turkey legs and sand sculptures of Weird Al Yankovic.
This is the perfect place to go if you have any issues paying attention.
Multiple petting zoos and amazing products of the future like rhinestone studded cell phone covers shouldn’t be missed.
For generations, anything that happens at a fair or a carnival immediately gets denigrated to low-brow entertainment. I’m calling bullshit on that one. Take a look at this.
By my count, in this series of pictures, there are no fewer than twenty plates spinning. Twenty plates! Why doesn’t the Academy give these guys an award for their efforts?
This isn’t a fugazi. This lady is balancing on nine kitchen chairs, which are being held up by four wine bottles, which are balancing on a stool. Lemme see one of those poor mentally challenged people on The Hills do this.
Of course, right after viewing something like Chinese Acrobats, there will always be a reminder that you’re at the fair. You see this poor bastard? He was trying to eat a three-pound funnel cake. Didn’t do it, so he had to pay for it. At this point, all he was doing was gagging.
The big trend at the fair over the last decade has been to deep-fry everything imaginable. So far, I’ve tried deep-fried avocado (crappy), as well as deep-friend Oreos and Twinkies (godlike). This year, I gave the deep-fried Snicker’s bar a try. The flavor completely missed me and I can’t recommend it.
At this point, you might not be entirely convinced. Can’t you find all of these distractions at the LA County Fair? I suppose. But before you veto it, there are two very important things that you must take into consideration before passing judgment. First, is its size. The OC Fair is easily half of the size of the zoo in Pomona.
Second is the fact that the OC Fair has put a real emphasis on Arts and Crafts. Every year I make it a point to look at what the amateur artists are doing behind the Orange Curtain.
I have a lot of respect for any place that foregoes endless miles of Jacuzzi salesmen in favor of giving amateur creative folks a real outlet for their work.
Of course if you notice the guy in the background holding the oversized banana, you can never entirely forget where you are.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for . . .
The Orange County Fair runs for about a month during the early summer on a yearly basis. Do yourself a favor and go check it out next year.
Santa Anita Race Track is nestled in the community of Arcadia in the San Gabriel Valley. The track opened in 1934 and in its history has hosted champion thoroughbreds such as the famous Seabiscuit. However, it was also a place that Japanese Americans were forced to call home during their forced internment during World War II.
Like many folks my age, I have never caught the bug for horse racing. And yet, generations past have been fascinated by it. One day in 1958, 61,000 people showed up here to watch horse races. 61,000 people. What fascinated all of them to come spend a day at the track and bet on horses? Just take a look at some of these pictures. Obviously, horse racing has lost its luster.
And then look at this picture. There is a quiet desperation in some of these eyes. These are track people, people who have spent a lifetime betting on horse races. Even though this place has filed Chapter 11, the relevance of the horse track has not been lost on these souls.
