I made an important decision about my future. If I ever have a son, I’m going to make a big deal about his first trip to Disneyland. For about six weeks straight, I’m going to get him really excited about the place. By the time we park, he’s going to float across the parking lot.

But in reality, I’m actually going to just take him to Downtown Disney. What’s the point? While it may be a magic kingdom, the last time I checked they’re charging a pretty penny for a piece of that magic. By having a crappy time a Downtown Disney, my little kidney donor will never ask to go again. Sure, he may be sullen and end up moving to France so that he can sulk in a café, dear old dad will never have to part with his money.

So what exactly is Downtown Disney? There are a few restaurants and a few stores. There is even a House of Blues. Unlike its two upscale cousins, Disneyland and California Adventure, it doesn’t cost a dime to get in. It’s a way to get a taste of the Disney lifestyle without parting with the cash.

Now it may sound like I’m negative on this experience. Maybe I am. But at the same time, Mickey has done something remarkable here. He’s provided for a clean and safe place for folks to gather. Very clever, Mickey. Very clever, indeed.