You know what’s nice? Not being destitute. You know what’s nicer than that? To have the resources necessary to put an artisan to work.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I hate to be a braggadocio, but three years of hard work and globetrotting have put me in such a position. One fine Sunday found Animated Meat at the Orange County Market Place. I happened upon Sergio’s Leather and Belts. Sergio is a master leather craftsman. After explaining the virtues of hard versus soft leather to me, I decided to put him to work. What better place to embody the Animated Meat philosophy than in a belt and a wristband?

America, what you are all witness to the first-ever commissioned work by Animated Meat. It’s the best I can do to use my capital to support American industry.

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen. Behold history in the making. For the first time ever, a jumbo-sized photo here in the pages of Animated Meat!

Why the extravagance now in these lean times? It is for illustrative purposes. Animated Meat, a highly regarded peer-edited scientific journal wishes to put before you a hypothesis and the evidence. The hypothesis? You can get anything you would ever want at the Anaheim Marketplace.

The evidence? Read that sign, ladies and gentlemen. Translated, it says “Free weddings on February 13th, both religious and civil”. Think of that as irrefutable fact in the fossil record. Something with the magnitude of the Piltdown Man’s remains.

Yes, you can get a wedding here, along with a whole lot of other things. God only knows what this place was before it became the Anaheim Marketplace, but it’s huge. So huge there is even a soccer field. Really. Drive around the back of the place and you’ll see it.

There’s plenty of food to be had here, everything from the grab and go variety to the sit and savor. I opted for a chicken mole plate along with a Mexican Coca-Cola. Incase you don’t know, the Mexican kind uses real sugar as opposed to corn syrup. Purists will tell you it tastes better.

Are you into the really scary brand of Catholicism? The kind with bleeding Jesus statues? The Anaheim Marketplace has your back. Shop today and light candles tonight.

The Marketplace states that it has over three hundred vendors. I would agree with that claim. The spaces are set up in a grid format, like a well-planned city. It’s a lot of acreage if you intend to see all of it. If you didn’t wear your comfy shoes, that’s okay. There’s probably a store in here that can sell you a pair.

Are you dying to dress like Los Tigres Del Norte? The Marketplace has everything you need to get fully equipped. This particular store also sells men’s fur coats. I would have included a photo as evidence, but I caught a nasty glare. If you really want to see it, send me an email at theadjuser@mac.com and I’ll pass it along.

Yes, that sign does say “cassettes”. Animated Meat can’t confirm that claim, but they do have plenty of Banda CD’s.

These toys all looked like a lot of fun. Lots of guns and soldiers. I’m sure that everything here poses a choking risk or will potentially put your eye out.

Futball? Si!

There are no less that three tattoo shops within the Marketplace.