Ripley's Believe It Or Not Buena Park - Originally Published 2009

It’s kind of hard to describe who Robert Ripley was.  Basically, he was a cartoonist that traveled the world attempting to document the unusual.  If you ever are in Buena Park, you can stop by the Believe It Or Not Museum and take a look at what he spent his life pursuing.

Located on Beach Boulevard, the museum is almost directly across from Knott’s Berry Farm.

We have driven past this place hundreds of times, dismissing it as some cheesy tourist trap.  That’s Robert Ripley seated on the airplane fuselage.  

You see this?  This is a genuine Papua New Guinea penis sheath.  This is what convinced me that this wasn’t going to be the usual museum.

The first part of the museum is devoted to bric-a-brac that an early twentieth century explorer would collect in Africa and “the Orient”, such as a hippo skull.

 A quick word before you proceed.  This place is not pc.  If you want pc, go jump in the lake.  The old clips use words like “orient”.  Also, a portion of the display is devoted to displaying odd humans.

That’s right, odd humans like this guy who had four pupils.  This is not done in the name of science like The Learning Channel pretends to do.  It’s done because people enjoy looking at the unusual.  Just remember the lessons learned from Todd Browning’s Freaks and you’ll be all right.

There are also a number of other unusual items made by people, such as this picture made from dryer lint.

Or this copy of “The Last Supper” made completely out of toast.

Ripley’s is a great place to go on a lazy afternoon.  As you go through, make sure to count the number of items made out of human hair.

Shasta Caverns - Originally Published 2009

Lake Shasta is the self-proclaimed houseboat capital of the world.  It is also home to the Shasta Caverns, a privately held set of caves that make for a nice diversion after endless hours on Interstate 5.

 Now, if you go take a look at the website or take a glance at the literature available at the Caverns’ gift store, you will notice that this trip proudly bills itself as “Three Adventures in One”.  The third adventure is the cave.  Two other adventures?  Here is the first.  A ride on a pontoon boat across Lake Shasta.  Guess the pace of life is slower in this part of the world if a pontoon boat qualifies as an adventure.

 You see that bus?  That’s adventure number two.  Yup.  I’m not judging.  Just pointing out that things must be a little slow if a ride on a bus is an adventure.

 Now, before I sound like a stuck up city slicker, I need to tell you that the views from the visitor center are amazing.  The day we went, it was very warm and very clear.  Shasta really is a beautiful place.

 If you have never been in a cave before, this is a great place to start.  It’s pretty user friendly and not overly strenuous.  Aside from that, these caves have some really amazing formations.

 The tour itself really doesn’t take that long, maybe an hour at the most.  Luckily, the tour guide was knowledgeable and had a fair amount of personality.

 I’d like to give you a map with directions, but the website only has GPS coordinates.  Basically, head north on the 5.  You will cross Lake Shasta and there should be some signs along the side of the road after that.

Liberace Museum - Originally Published 2010

Hinduism has a concept known as an avatar.  The word is Sanskrit and can be translated to “manifestation” or “appearance”.  Basically, think of it like this.  When God comes to visit the physical plane, he uses an avatar to do so.  It is an embodiment of all that is good.  Krishna was an avatar.  So was Jesus.

Krishna’s presence is supposed to invoke pure joy.  Ever seen a Hare Krishna?  You know why they drop out of polite society and sing all day?  It’s because they’ve felt the presence of Krishna and understand what pure joy is.

I’m glad you’ve all decided to attend my lecture today, because it’s my conjecture that Liberace was an avatar.  You see, on a recent visit to the Liberace museum, I found it impossible not to smile.  Look here and here.  Tell me that you didn’t find yourself the slightest bit amused.

At the very least, this was a man who recognized his role as an entertainer.  It was his job to take in an audience for an hour and a half and make them forget about crappy jobs, rising interest rates, disrespectful children, and the price of gasoline.  He wasn’t proving solutions.  He was giving the opportunity to escape and feel bliss.

Gold and Silver Pawn Shop - Originally Published 2010

Based on the fact that it’s the most popular show on cable television, chances at this point in time you have seen Pawn Stars on the History Channel.  Not only does that place actually exist, but it currently one of the hottest attractions in Vegas.

Here is what I’ve learned about the art of the deal by watching the show: 

1.  Rick will always call one of his friends before buying something.

2. The friend will give the price of the item at auction.

3.  Rick will always ask you what you want for the item in question.   He will never make an offer first.

4.   Rick’s in business to make money.  When you set your price, it’s a safe bet that you will get about half of what the appraiser said it would go for.

5.  Don’t haggle with the old man.  Once he sets his price, he will only come down.

Yes, it is a pawnshop.  But they have a lot more to look at than your standard imitation Stratocasters and circular saws that you may find at the neighborhood store.

Gardens at the Bellagio - Originally Published 2010

A garden. In Las Vegas. Right next to the hotel lobby. I’m serious.

When The Bellagio was constructed, a space was set aside in the tradition of the European gardens. A crew of 140 horticulturalists updates the garden five times a year and deal with the day-to-day maintenance.

Let’s analyze this for a moment. The garden is expansive. It easily occupies the same amount of space as a few football fields. It doesn’t cost a dime to enter.

The Bellagio could have just as easily put another bank of slot machines in the same space. But they didn’t. They took it upon themselves to secure a little bit of real estate just so they could put in something nice to look at. Figuring labor and the cost of plants compounded by the fact that there is nowhere to shove a quarter, it must cost them a fortune to operate it. And yet they do.

Thank you, Bellagio.