Muzeo - Originally Published 2009

Muzeo is a new museum in downtown Anaheim.  Like a lot of you, I was not aware that Anaheim even had a downtown.  It looks like there has been a lot of money poured into the area recently, but if you go on a weekend like we did, it will be a complete ghost town.

Muzeo makes its home in one of the old Carnegie libraries.  The mission of the museum is to have three new exhibits going on at all times.  The weekend we went, there was one on monsters in movies, one on strange animals past and present, and one room was devoted to the history of Anaheim.

Museums generally fall into two categories.  There are museums that bore kids, and then there are the ones that you can take a bored kid to.  Muzeo is the latter.  There are plenty of buttons to push and nice, weird exhibits.  The only drawback is that it is pretty small.  I think that we got through all three sections in an hour.

Santa Anita Race Track - Originally Published 2009

Santa Anita Race Track is nestled in the community of Arcadia in the San Gabriel Valley.  The track opened in 1934 and in its history has hosted champion thoroughbreds such as the famous Seabiscuit.  However, it was also a place that Japanese Americans were forced to call home during their forced internment during World War II.

Like many folks my age, I have never caught the bug for horse racing.  And yet, generations past have been fascinated by it.  One day in 1958, 61,000 people showed up here to watch horse races.  61,000 people.  What fascinated all of them to come spend a day at the track and bet on horses?  Just take a look at some of these pictures.  Obviously, horse racing has lost its luster.

And then look at this picture.  There is a quiet desperation in some of these eyes.  These are track people, people who have spent a lifetime betting on horse races.  Even though this place has filed Chapter 11, the relevance of the horse track has not been lost on these souls.

Ducks Game at the Honda Center - Originally Published 2009

Just what is the Honda Center you ask?  It’s the arena that was once known as the Arrowhead Pond.  Under either name, it has been the home of the Ducks since 1993.

I think that the Honda Center and the Ducks indicate just what an anomaly Southern California really is.  You see, there is no snow here, and yet we have two NHL franchises that are maybe twenty miles apart.  Two NHL franchises!  Cleveland has plenty of snow and they managed to put the Barons out of business.  Canada.  One can’t think of Canada without thinking of snow.  And yet, Canada failed to send any teams to the finals this year.  Yes sir, both of the teams in the finals were from the good old U.S. of A.  You want to know what’s weirder?  The Ducks have actually managed to win a cup.  Weird?  That’s Southern California for you.

The Ducks have quite a following.  And they like to accessorize for the game.  I think that Mai and I were the only two adults in the arena without Ducks jerseys.  If you choose to go, make sure you dress warm.  It is an ice hockey game, by the way.  They play it on ice.

As a money saving proposition, I got the cheapest seats in the house. And you know what?  Even though we were a few rows from the wall, we could still see all the action.  Great job, Anaheim!

Hollywood Wax Museum - Originally Published 2009

Included in the cost to the Guinness Museum is a trip to the Hollywood Wax Museum.

The figures here are a little questionable.  The one on the right is definitely Angelina Jolie.  However, who are the other two?  My wife said Mathew McConaughey and Jude Law.  Anyone have any other opinions?

Some just plain look beat up.  Take a look at Tom Cruise.  It looks like someone threw him down the stairs.

Poor Gwyneth has some bruising on her arms.  I bet the paparazzi will have a field day with that.

Midway through it, they throw the spiritually devoid tourists some old time religion.  There is a depiction of the Last Supper complete with crucifixion.

At least Kevin Sorbo makes up for all of the shortcomings.

Guinness World's Records Museum - Originally Published 2009

I don’t believe in the concept of hell.  There is a fundamental flaw about hell that the church overlooked when they made it up.  People get used to things, even terrible, horrible things.  I’m sure that it takes a few thousand years to get accustomed to burning in a lake of fire, but once you do it ends up being more an inconvenience than a punishment.

Take the Guinness World’s Records Museum in Hollywood.  This place is an abomination.  Yet, I would be willing to bet that most people have allowed it to blend into the urban landscape.  It sits on Hollywood Boulevard near Mann’s Chinese Theater.

For $17, you get a ticket to this place and one to the Hollywood Wax Museum across the street.

As expected, there is the usual assortment of freaky people, some of the longhaired variety.

Remember Lite-Brite?  This is the world’s biggest Lite-Brite picture coming in at 4’ by 6’.

One time my friend Scott told me that his grandma died because she was picking her navel and accidentally opened herself up.  He told me the tale as a warning.  I remember his closing words of advice: “Don’t do it because if it opens up, it’s impossible for the doctors to sew it closed.”

But I digress.  This picture sucks, but the words say, “Rotate the drum towards you to see if you know the right answer.”  The problem?  There is no drum.  This mistake was repeated throughout the museum.

See that black box?  There was supposed to be a television there showing an amazing clip of some kind.  However, no television and no amazing clip.  Way to go Guinness!

The plunger on the floor in this picture is supposed to make something blow up.  I don’t know what was supposed to blow up because it wasn’t working.  What’s the matter, Guinness?  Tough times mean that you have to lay off the maintenance man?  You customers want to know!

This has to be the wordiest museum I have ever been to.  If you like to read your museums, this is the place for you.  If not, I recommend that you just get the book at the library and save yourself some cash.