Dear reader, I must make a confession to you before we proceed any further. When I arrived at the Ryman Auditorium with my family in tow, my intent was not to spend huge swaths of my afternoon considering ways I can help my kids actualize their dreams. Nor was my plan to reflect on the horror a middle aged person must feel upon realizing he never took the first steps needed to bring a dream into existence. While I am pouring out my confessions to you, it was never my ambition to feel sadness for those who chose safe paths and quit on dreams too soon. However, inside that stately brick building on a chilly December morning, that is exactly what happened.

Matilda knows how to say “howdy” properly after her visit.

There’s something very democratic about the Ryman. No skyboxes or VIP section. Everyone sits shoulder to shoulder with their neighbors.

The woodwork reflects over a hundred years of audiences passing through.

In all honesty, my motivations for visiting the Ryman were probably the same as many other life long music fans. Seeing cases full of memorabilia from the theater’s past would have been fine for me. I was hoping to lay eyes on Hank William’s handwritten lyrics to “Your Cheatin' Heart” and to point out Dolly Parton’s shiny dress to my daughter. Maybe, I would be able to take a look at Johnny Cash’s ostrich skin boots. For those with similar goals, I am happy to report the good people in charge of the Ryman were able to deliver on all counts.

It hasn’t just been the home of Country music.

Hank Williams’ hand written lyrics to Your Cheatin’ Heart.

However, within that old church, I encountered an experience that was not in any of the guidebooks. After a multimedia presentation that established the Ryman’s importance in making Nashville the music city, we were free to wander through the theater on a self-guided, self-paced tour. While sitting on one of those well-worn wooden pews, a thought occurred to me. If a person ever needed evidence that dreams can come true, the Ryman is it. To walk through its doors is to realize all that is possible if a person does the work to see one through.

The Ryman as it was originally envisioned.

The theater itself was nothing more than a dream in the late 1890’s when Captain Tom Ryman had a spiritual conversion at a tent revival. His ambition was to build it so that others hear the words of Reverend Sam Jones. A hundred years later, its preservation was nothing more than a dream after it was left standing empty and dilapidated. Yet, Emmylou Harris had the vision and the drive to rally the community to renovate and reopen the Mother Church of Country Music. Not to mention that this was the home of the Grand Ole Opry for thirty years. It was here that on a Saturday night, aspiring singers were able to step out onto stage and have America hear their voices for the first time. To sit in that old church is to feel the potency of a person with a dream and is willing to put the work in to make it an actuality.

Jacque being nonchalant in the presence of Louis Armstrong’s trumpet and Johnny Cash’s boots.

As someone who arrived at parenting somewhere near the end of the second act, I have witnessed the dead eyes of those who quit on a dream too soon. There is a danger in arriving at middle age with a “what if” in your heart. That is something I would never want my own kids to feel. As soon as my daughter could articulate a thought, she made it very clear that her ambition is to be a singer when she grows up. While it’s a fairly common career aspiration for a seven year old girl to have, she has been so persistent about her vision of the future that as a parent, I feel it is my responsibility to feed the fire inside of her. What was affirmed to me in the Ryman auditorium is that if she believes in the beauty of her dream, and if she puts in the work to achieve it, she can turn a possibility into an actuality. She has the potential to fulfill a dream, just like all those who stepped out onto this stage before her.

The Mother Church of Country Music stands just a few blocks off of Broadway in downtown Nashville. With an Old Town Trolley Tour stop right out front, the good people of Nashville could not have made it more accessible to tourists like yours truly.

This post was based on a visit to the Ryman Auditorium on December 27, 2019

Ryman Auditorium

116 5th Ave N.

Nashville, TN 37219

615 889-3060

Interested in taking a trip to Tennessee? Don’t miss out on the Adventure Science Center or Rock City. Interested in finding out more about the Ryman’s history? Make sure to watch Ken Burns Country Music and look at the timeline in the Ryman’s website.

Taking kids to a cemetery for an outing may seem like an odd parenting choice. As an odd parent, I’d like to take a few moments and explain my logic in doing so. As someone who hangs my hat in Southern California, I am well aware that we have a wealth of kid-friendly options. I could have dropped a few hundred dollars on a trip to Disneyland. We could have gone bouncing around in an indoor playground if avoiding the sun had been our objective. Jacque may be a little young, but I’m sure that one of our nice, upwardly mobile neighbors could have recommended an SAT prep class. However, aside from being an odd parent, I’m also an old one. I’m fortunate that my kids joined me in the second half of my life. Truth be told, it was because of my experiences during the first half that a visit to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery seemed like the perfect place to spend a warm September morning.

As I see it, there is a disturbing trend where parents make decisions for their kids based off of the notion that if we start early enough, and plan carefully enough, and make sure that we monitor each step along the prescribed pathway precisely, their lives will be a success. As long we as keep them in our line of sight, there will be nothing but sunny days and light offshore breezes ahead. For our efforts, we’ll get bright children who are respectful and get into the best schools. They’ll spend their weekends at Coachella where they can rebel in ways that parents approve of. They’ll grow up to be little marvels with great jobs and big houses. They’ll be little jewels whose dazzling light will make mommy and dad shine that much brighter. The problem is that this parenting style leaves the kids only equipped for fair weather. We owe them more than just making them a playing piece in a game Keeping Up with the Jones.

Aside from that, the problem is that the squeeze we’ve put on kids is rushing them through the most important parts of life, like the self-discovery that comes with becoming an educated person. Schools are a place where we worry more about molding them into good workers than allowing them to become interesting people. We’re gauging success based off of quantifiable data. If wisdom about how to be a fulfilled person can’t be reported on a spreadsheet, it isn’t worth much. We’ve seemed to have forgotten that an education in the Arts is about understanding the things that make life matter.

As much as I want nothing but happiness for my kids, I have learned that there is going to be a moment in every person’s life when the world hands you your ass. If there is an algorithm for working through heartbreak, I am fairly certain that a career on the fast track is not part of it. Despite all the plotting and planning, regardless of the scramble and the climb, we cannot escape that one day, we will all have an opportunity to get shellacked by the universe. It doesn’t matter if you’re an optometrist or a dentist, the fair weather your parents filled your sails with can’t last forever. It’s in those quiet lonely moments when there is just the memory of failure that salvation will be found. And it will be the Arts that pave the pathway out of gloom and into meaning and understanding.

And that’s what brought us here. We stopped by the Hollywood Forever Cemetery so I could pay my respects to a few gentlemen who kept me company during my own moments of despair. I can see what my fellow parents are attempting to do. However, in my own case, I think that it’s better for me to equip my kids with some resources for when the great machine turns over. Part of those resources will be grounded in an appreciation of the Arts. It does not matter how far they drop or how dark it seems to be, some human being has been there before.

This post is based on a visit to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery on September 15, 2018

Hollywood Forever Cemetery

6000 Santa Monica Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90038

323 469-1181

Interested in visiting some of Los Angeles’ history? Take a look at Angel’s Flight or the USS Iowa. Interested in taking your kids somewhere unusual? Take a look at Tio’s Tacos or the Huy Fong Foods Factory Tour.