In case you haven’t been paying attention, the series Twilight has taken the country by storm. Stephanie Miller’s saga of tortured vampires that don’t have fangs and twinkle in the sunlight has captured the imaginations of everyone with double X chromosomes.
For us, the first stop on the tour was in the lovely seaside town, Port Angeles. I have an issue with Stephanie Miller over her description of PA. She calls it a tourist trap. I take issue with this. Aquarium Village in Oregon is a tourist trap. None of the locals here seem to complain though. The volume of folks stopping by to take pictures has benefited the local economy.
So many people are discovering PA because of a one-chapter mention in a book that the town now has a store devoted to all things Twilight.
Bella stopped here with some friends while shopping for a prom dress. The store is closed now, but the locals have placed a few props in the window so tweens have something to take a picture of.
Bella stopped at Port Angeles Book and News in order to do some research on vampire legends of the local natives.
Bella Italia, the sight of Edward and Bella’s first date. They have mushroom ravioli on the menu, just like the book. How romantic.
Pay attention, single fellows. It’ll do you some good to realize that the ladies love Edward.
Okay, a quick disclaimer before I continue. Remember, going on a Twilight Tour doesn’t make you gay. Having gay sex with gay men makes you gay. Long live George Tekai and Bradley, two American heroes. Now back to the tour.
Ms. Miller chose Forks as the setting for her novels because it has the most rainfall in the lower 48. You see, her vampires sparkle in the sunlight. They are able to hide in the rain.
There’s a burger stand on the way into Forks I recommend stopping at. The food is good and you get a free set of vampire teeth when you eat there. Check this out Edward, this is what a vampire looked like when I was a kid.
Actually, no, I don’t look like a vampire. Apparently, the only way to be selected to be a vampire is to be outrageously handsome. Sadly, I only have charm, wit, and brains. The undead are shallow. I think that my friend Joshua has the bone structure to swing being a vampire, but it might conflict with his belief in Christianity.
The visitor information center is a place you must stop. The ladies there play along and are experts on all things Twilight.
It’s pretty incredible the way that the whole town plays along. This is a private residence, and yet the owner has a sign out front that it’s the home of the Swans.
This is where Bella worked. Inside is a coffee shop. I tried the Twilight Mocha. It was a tad sweet for my taste buds.
Bella and Edward’s high school. This is where he first saved her with his super human strength and speed. Yes, I read half the book.
This is the hospital where Dr. Cullen works. Apparently, he rides a motorcycle.
This is the house where those wonderful Cullens live and do whatever beautiful people do. It actually doubles as a B & B.
For years, Forks was a timber town. Loggers made fortunes from the fact that it’s so close to the last rain forest in the United States. Then they went to war with the Spotted Owl and lost. God bless Stephanie Miller for breathing new life into the local economy.
Everybody plays along. See? Even the public works truck got into the vampire spirit.
La Push is a stunning piece of property that belongs to the native inhabitants of the Pacific Northwest. In the book, this is where the Forks kids come to have fun at the beach. The natives have a treaty with the vampires.
We ran into Jacob while we were there. He let us take some pictures, but he wasn’t feeling any autographs.